is your mom at the bar?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
