Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize