he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
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He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
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My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize