Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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