She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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