I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize