apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
