i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize