so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
