Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I still have a little drunk in my system
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
