hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
