Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
