i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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