a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
