Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
