sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
