definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
