Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
