I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
