i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize