That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
