The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
