I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
