We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
