So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
