i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
