We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
