I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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