He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Randomize
