Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
