Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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