I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
