I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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