this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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