Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm always down for nudity.
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