Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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