he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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