how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
