Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
