i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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