Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
then he tried to convert me to islam
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
