I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
