just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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