I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
from now on my penis is your penis
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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