new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
