If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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