I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So much rum. So many feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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