so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
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