Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I checked into jail on foursquare
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
