No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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