God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
pray to the hookup gods
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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