tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Randomize
