Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I think a kid would responsible me up
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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