dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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