Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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