Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
