"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
