wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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