Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
