Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
