Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My liver just had a heart attack.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
