Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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